17th February 2020
Have you ever heard someones job title and it still has you wondering what it is they actually do?
Or, have you ever thought of a better title to describe what it is one of your co-workers does?
We sure have! Look, we have nothing against fancy job titles. But, really – Senior Social Media Capability Architect!? Let’s get real.
In this post, we deliver some brutally accurate job titles to help brighten your day and spread some humour into your office.
Social Media Strategist
Brutally Accurate Title: Person with the Twitter Password
To all the social media managers out there struggling to remember the passwords – we feel your pain.
Brutally Accurate Title: Executive Officer in charge of signing for that
Otherwise known as controller of the candy jar that sits on top of the desk.
Brutally Accurate Title: Coffee Shortage Scapegoat
Work begins at 9:AM. Second coffee break at 9:20AM.
Brutally Accurate Title: Professional Conference Attender
“I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a bid deal.”
Brutally Accurate Title: Developer in charge of strategies for saying no
“I’ll have to check the budget and get back to you about that one…”
Brutally Accurate Title: Lead interpreter of contradictory suggestions
“Can’t you just copy and paste it in?”
Head of I.T
Brutally Accurate Title: Director of turning things off and back on
Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Brutally Accurate Title: Gossip coordinator/Investigator
Also known as the unofficial peacemaker.
Brutally Accurate Title: Offensive Tweet retractor
It takes 20 years to build a reputation and one bad Tweet to ruin it!
Brutally Accurate Title: Executive in charge of circling back about that
“We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.”
Brutally Accurate Title: Head of looking at random stuff on the internet until five minutes before something’s due
To be fair, it’s usually 10 minutes before it’s due.
Brutally Accurate Title: Lead Facilitator of alcohol-related terminations
“Yay, it’s Friday. Oh wait, I’m an event coordinator.”
What are some brutally accurate job titles that we’ve missed? Let us know in the comments below!