Brutally Accurate Job Titles

Have you ever heard someones job title and it still has you wondering what it is they actually do?

Or, have you ever thought of a better title to describe what it is one of your co-workers does?

We sure have! Look, we have nothing against fancy job titles. But, really – Senior Social Media Capability Architect!? Let’s get real.

In this post, we deliver some brutally accurate job titles to help brighten your day and spread some humour into your office.

You can check out the video version here. 

Social Media Strategist

Brutally Accurate Title: Person with the Twitter Password

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To all the social media managers out there struggling to remember the passwords – we feel your pain.

Receptionist

Brutally Accurate Title: Executive Officer in charge of signing for that

3

Otherwise known as controller of the candy jar that sits on top of the desk.

Office Manager

Brutally Accurate Title: Coffee Shortage Scapegoat

4

Work begins at 9:AM. Second coffee break at 9:20AM.

Brand Ambassador

Brutally Accurate Title: Professional Conference Attender

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“I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a bid deal.”

CFO

Brutally Accurate Title: Developer in charge of strategies for saying no

6

“I’ll have to check the budget and get back to you about that one…”

Graphic Designer

Brutally Accurate Title: Lead interpreter of contradictory suggestions

7

“Can’t you just copy and paste it in?”

Head of I.T

Brutally Accurate Title: Director of turning things off and back on

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Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

HR Director

Brutally Accurate Title: Gossip coordinator/Investigator

9

Also known as the unofficial peacemaker.

PR Director

Brutally Accurate Title: Offensive Tweet retractor

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It takes 20 years to build a reputation and one bad Tweet to ruin it!

Project Manager

Brutally Accurate Title: Executive in charge of circling back about that

Project Manager job titles

“We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.”

Copywriter

Brutally Accurate Title: Head of looking at random stuff on the internet until five minutes before something’s due

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To be fair, it’s usually 10 minutes before it’s due.

Events Coordinator

Brutally Accurate Title: Lead Facilitator of alcohol-related terminations

job titles

“Yay, it’s Friday. Oh wait, I’m an event coordinator.”

What are some brutally accurate job titles that we’ve missed? Let us know in the comments below!